Over spring break, I read five books:
Lady Midnight by Cassandra Clare Exit, Pursued by a Bear by E.K. Johnston A Gathering of Shadows by V.E. Schwab Saint Anything by Sarah Dessen Wink, Poppy, Midnight by April Genevieve Tucholke If you've read any of these books or all of these books, you'll know that all five of these books vary greatly. Granted, three of the five involve magic of some kind, but that is pretty much where the similarities end. Even the type of magic is different from book to book. Now, to most people, the fact that I read these five different books over the course of a week would have nothing to do with the fact that my reading list is never ending. But it really, truly does. To most people, the logical answer to having a never ending reading list is that books are always being published and there will always be a book to read. While that is true, there is more to my reasoning than that. It is the fact that I am always changing. I will read the summary of a book one day and put it back because I don't think it sounds that good. But a month later, I'll go back in and find that exact same book and realize that it is the book that I absolutely need. There will always be books to read, and most of the time, I will find a book that is a decade old as opposed to all of the new YA books. But don't get me wrong: I'll get to those too. Here is my current reading list: Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes Between Shades of Gray by Ruta Sepetys Out of the Easy by Ruta Sepetys Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens Frankenstein by Mary Shelley The Shadow Queen by CJ Redwine This Savage Song by Victoria Schwab The Dark Days Club by Alison Goodman The Probability of Miracles by Wendy Wunder The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender by Leslye Walton A Study in Charlotte by Brittany Cavallaro The Charmed Children of Rookskill Castle by Janet Fox The Appearance of Annie Van Sinderen by Katherine B. Howe The Glittering Court by Richelle Mead See How They Run by Ally Carter Tell the Wind and Fire by Sarah Rees Brennan The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins Lady Audley's Secret by Mary Elizabeth Braddon The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls by Emilie Autumn And counting... "You," he said, "are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain." ~Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls
As a teenager, I think I am entitled to my mood swings. I'm allowed to hate the world and my parents and every person who goes to my school because every teenager goes through that, and why do I get denied the right to be an angsty, awful human being? However, I think there is a point where the hatred and the sadness and the disgust and the general awfulness of everything goes from the "teenage phase" to the "Is something wrong with me?" phase. Friends, let me tell you, I've been in this phase for a while. Sometimes, life just sucks. And there is truly nothing that you can do about it. You can't smile and pretend that everything is okay. You can't have a chocolate-dipped ice cream cone and suddenly the world is brighter and bigger. It just doesn't work that way. So don't ever tell anyone to just "be happy." Because it doesn't work like that. And let me tell you something: this sadness? it happens all. The. Time. You can be okay one moment and then be choking down tears the next. You can have an okay day one day and then be completely drained the next. The world can be full of color and then just be black and white. But it can also be black and white one day and full of color the next. You can be completely drained one day and then have two or three or even four good days. You can feel an overwhelming amount of sadness, and then suddenly everything will be alright because someone is there for you and they're there to listen to you and it doesn't make anything better, but it makes a huge difference to know that someone cares enough to ask and listen and just be there. It took me a long time to realize this. It also took me a long time to realize that this sadness thing? It's not my fault. It's everything else. It's the stress and the times that I forget to practice my piano and how people never seem to value my opinion and it's everything on top of everything on top of everything. It's because every time I leave my house, I'm me. Or as me as I can be. I don't put up a show. But everything else does. As my friend Jessica said, nothing is real. And I am a terribly real thing in a terribly false world. And so are you, and that's okay. Because eventually this terribly false world will have to show it's true colors, and I truly believe that they are red and orange and yellow and green and blue and purple. |
BellaBSU student
Musical fanatic Lover of books and all things cake-related Archives
April 2018
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